Cotton Candy

"Feel-good feelings are like cotton candy"

HUH??!

I guess the above looks like a very random metaphor. Before you start thinking that I've totally fallen off the deep end, let me explain.

Today's society places a lot of emphasis on how we feel - in schools, relationships, and sometimes even in church. If it feels good, do it! This has become the motto.

Kids are taught in some school to have good self-esteem. While I don't think this is an entirely wrong concept, there is way too much emphasis placed on the "self" part of that phrase. They say that kids aren't supposed to fail or lose. (But isn't that what makes successes so sweet? Look at Edison and the light bulb.) Teachers aren't even supposed to use red ink - lest it damage self-esteem. I could go on, but that is another soapbox for another place and time.

If it feels good, do it! This is often applied to relationships as well - friendships as well as romantic relationships. Often the focus of relationships has been self - does this person meet MY needs? If the answer is no, than it has become time to move on because "it's all about me" right? Um, whatever happened to caring for others? To putting the needs of others above your own? Jesus, Others, You spells JOY. Lack of commitment has become an epidemic and much of it is based on the perception that "he (or she) isn't meeting MY needs."

Some churches have even fallen into the trap of feel-good feelings. They say (or convey the idea) that as long as you are on an emotional "high," than all must be well between you and God. While it isn't wrong to feel these emotions - they don't last and should not be what we constantly seek in our walk with God.

Which brings me back to cotton candy. (You were waiting for this, right? Probably the only reason you've read this far!) First, let me say that I like cotton candy. It is something I enjoy on occasion. I also enjoy good feelings, they in and of themselves, aren't wrong. But...

Cotton candy is a bunch of fluff - you put it into your mouth and POUF! it's gone. Feelings are the same way. As soon as you grab ahold of them, they disappear - they don't last. Cotton candy also isn't very substantial. You can't live on the stuff. It's about 90% air, 8% sugar and 2% dye. (Before you run to the kitchen, this isn't a recipe - merely my assessment.) You can't live off feelings either - you won't survive emotionally or spiritually. Just as your body needs nutrients like protein, calcium, and vitamins, just to name a few, your spirit and soul need things like perseverence, commitment and faith.

Instead of self-esteem, we should seek self-improvement through study and hard work. Instead of trying to get what we can out of a relationship, we should seek for what we can bring to it, and not trash it when the going gets tough. Instead of seeking a spiritual experience, we should live by faith in God and His Word.

And that is better than cotton candy.

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Image sources:
First Image
Second Image

Ripples and Wildflowers

Picture with me a smooth quiet pond. There are green grass and colorful wildflowers reflected in the stillness of the water. The tree behind you houses a family of birds chirping away. You look down and see an acorn lying on the ground. You pick it up and throw it into the water. At first there is little effect, but soon the ripples start forming and outward they grow, larger and larger, disturbing the quiet water. You reach down and gather five more acorns and toss them in. This time the ripples seem to take over the entire pond. Each acorn making it’s own path until it meets with the paths of the others.

So is life. Each of us is like one of those acorns. We are each making our own path through life. The decisions that we make and the words that we speak often have effects that reach farther than we imagine. We may feel at times that no one really cares what we do, but often we don’t know who is watching and listening and learning.

The wrong choices that are made, the negative words spoken, even a sour expression may not seem to you to have much of a lasting effect, but what if everyone acted the way you do? On the other hand, a kind word, a soft smile, a thoughtful action, or even just doing our daily chores with a cheerful attitude can have farther reaching results than you would think.

For example, think of the beautiful wildflowers along the road. Some people want to stop and pick them. So what’s wrong with that? Well, what if everyone that drove by did the same thing, soon there would not be any to enjoy and none to spread their seeds and bring forth more flowers. However, think of a bare patch of ground along a busy highway. Instead of taking something, what if each person planted a seed? Think of the loveliness that would be created! What if everyone made the choices that you make? The things that we do may seem small, but what if everyone was doing it?

Sometimes it seems that as Christians, we don’t seem to be making much of an impact on the world. But as we do what we can to honor and serve God, someone is watching us. Maybe we can make a difference in that one persons life, who will, in turn, make a difference for someone else, and so the ripples form. As we make choices each day to serve God and help others and to not live selfishly, our actions progress onward. We won’t know until we reach eternity, the effect that our lives have had on others.

So what kind of ripples are you making today? Even if you never leave your house, your actions matter to someone. Go make some ripples! Go plant some seeds!

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Images Courtesy of:
www.nsf.gov
www.brazoscyclists.org

Overcoming the Overwhelming: Part 2

Fear is a very real part of life. A certain amount of fear is necessary to actually live! If we weren't "afraid" of being in a car accident, drivers would not be cautious and there would be a lot more accidents than there already are. Some fears however, are detrimental to our lives as Christians. Elizabeth Elliott compares fear to another strong human emotion: "People who have themselves experienced both grief and fear know how alike those two things are ... they are equally disabling, distracting, and destructive."(1.) Disabling, in that fear can prevent you from experiencing new things or enjoying the fullness of God's will. Distracting in that fear will take your focus off God and His Word as well as your responsibilities in life. Destructive in that your peace is destroyed and you are unable to accomplish what God has called you to do.

I'm sure you have seen this at work in someone else's life, if not even in your own. I faced debilitating fear when I went through panic attacks and the surrounding stress. It is important for me to point out that not all fear is caused by a lack of faith or spiritual weakness. Sometimes fears or depression is brought on by a physical condition, whether in our bodies or a short-circuit in our brain. If you face continued fears, you may need to speak to a health professional. He or she can tell you whether or not you need to seek further help. The important thing to remember is that you are not a "bad" Christian or un-Christian because you have a problem. This problem is not always caused by a lack of trust or faith in God.

Even Paul fought a battle. Take a look at 2 Corinthians 12:7-10. Paul speaks of his "thorn in the flesh." We don't know what this thorn was it could have been physical or mental or spiritual. Paul asked repeatedly for this thorn to be removed (v.8) Jesus's answer to him is a promise to us as well in whatever situation we face: "My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness." We like Paul, can take heart that God will use our weakness for His Own glory and through our weakness God gives us strength. (vv. 9-10) "All things work together for good." Romans 8:28

God's anecdote to fear is love.

• 2 Timothy 1:7 “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but ... of love...”
• Romans 8:39 Nothing can separate us from God's love. "Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature [insert fear], shall be able to separate us from the love of God"
• 1 John 4:18 "There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment" This is the key verse for me. As I spend more time with God, His love fills my being. As I am filled with His love, there is less and less room for fear. I picture the love squeezing out fear, or just kicking it out the door!
  

Like I said above, not all fears are harmful. The Bible states a necessary "fear" - the fear of the Lord. The fear of the Lord is not an overwhelming scared feeling, but rather a feeling of awe and respect for our Creator. When we have a healthy fear of the Lord, our irrational fears have to step aside.

Here are a few facts about the fear of the Lord:

• It is the beginning of Wisdom (Ps 111:10 and Prov. 9:10)
• Is clean (Ps.19:9)
• Prolongs Days (Prov. 10:27)
• Is strong confidence, a place of refuge (Prov. 14:26)
• Is a fountain of life (Prov. 14:27)
• To depart from evil (Prov. 16:6)

How wonderful to know that when life seems dark, we can trust in the Lord and run to Him in our time of need. His love is there to comfort us and cast out our bad fears, and when we fear Him, we have a strong confidence, a refuge, and life.
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(1.) Twelve Baskets of Crumbs, Elizabeth Elliott, 1976.

Overcoming the Overwhelming

Fears can become overwhelming, whether the source of fear is real or perceived. Sometimes fear is necessary to encourage us to action, like when you meet that bear in the path, or even when you are dreaming that snakes are snapping at your sandaled toes. (My squeal woke me up early this morning… I’m so tired of dreaming every night!) Those are the more real fears. (O.K. so the dream wasn’t exactly real, but it was real to me at the time!) :)

Other times fear comes from unknown sources, or as a result of stress or physical problems. The past several months have been a time of learning for me. Sometimes we don’t even realize how much stress we have been under, until after it is gone. When the body has been in overdrive for so long, you get used to it. Then when the time comes to relax, you often get sick. (Example: One of my good friends was a student teacher last semester, as well as working at her regular job. She was a VERY busy lady. On spring break, she totally took off: no school and no work. She got sick. Kind of a bummer way to spend a break, huh?)

I’ve had panic attacks during or after times of stress. These are very frightening. It’s like the adrenaline rush when you see that bear in the path, but there’s no bear. It’s a feeling of a loss of control, or that you are going crazy. (For a more detailed description, click here.) If you suffer from this, I encourage you to talk to someone about it. You aren’t going crazy, and it is a condition that can be helped. Just understanding the disorder is a big step in helping overcome it. (If you want to talk to me, just leave your email address in a separate comment. I won’t publish the comment and I will email you as soon as I can.)

For now, I would like to give some practical suggestions on overcoming fears.

• Pray- We can bring our fears, real or imagined, to God who understands us, knows us, and remembers that we are human. 1 Peter 5:7 encourages us to cast all our cares upon Him, “for He careth for you.”

• Read the Bible- Have an arsenal of Scripture ready for when the fears attack. This takes preparation. Just as a soldier prepares for battle months or years before, it is important to have your weapons ready to battle fear. These Scriptures become a lifeline. Memorize them. Post them where you are likely to see them.

• Control your thoughts – It is important to dwell on what is real, on what is true. (Philippians 4:8) Don’t focus on the “what ifs” of your situation. Think on the Scriptural principals, God loves you and will take care of you no matter what happens. Don’t let your mind dwell on the negative.

• Reach out for support – allow someone to help you. Share your fears with someone who cares about you. Just sharing what is bothering you takes some of the power of that fear away. It can give you a fresh perspective.

• Listen to the right music – fill your mind with those things that honor God and bring your thoughts toward Him. Just singing or listening to encouraging songs can help alleviate fears. (A song that really helped me is The Healer by the Talley Trio, illustrated by the painting above.)
  

Next time I will share more Scriptural principals on dealing with fear, but for now, let me leave you with a verse that has been my lifeline.

2 Timothy 1:7
“For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.”

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Picture Courtesy of:
Tapestryproductions.com
For more information on the painting click here, for more information about the artist click here.

Red Light, Green Light

I don't like to drive.

Surprise you? Well, I really don't... I will drive and I don't mind it too much, but some days I get home and think, "I don't have to drive for ____ (insert time period)" One of the main reasons I don't like to drive is all the crazy other drivers out there! (Am I the ONLY one who know how to drive????)

Oh, and in my town - notorious for red-light runners - I don't start at an intersection until all the people have stopped and then I look to see if my light is green. I got honked at the other day for not going as soon as the light turned green. I was just waiting for everyone to stop!

I also really don't like yellow lights. Sometimes, when approaching an intersection, I will pray for a clear red or a clear green. I don't like the rush of being somewhere in the middle. I want to know when to stop and when to go, not to get to the light and wonder if I am actually running a red light!

I am the same way when it comes to life choices. I want to know clearly what God's will is for me before I make a major decision. I want that clear green! Take, for example, my choice of which Bible college to attend. I knew that it was where God wanted me to go. Some people in my little world did not approve of my choice. But I knew that was where God wanted me. (My parents also approved... a biggy in the right choice department.) And believe me, I wouldn't have been able to make it up there if I hadn't know it was the RIGHT decision! (Almost 900 miles... not exactly able to go home for the weekend!) It was a very clear GREEN.

Reds are good too. These "lights" help us to know what choices not to make. A bad decision can put a whole life heading the wrong direction. You probably know someone who has chosen to go on red, and regretted it the rest of her life.

The key to finding the clear green or clear red in your life is PRAYER. It is very important to know what God says on issues (reading the Bible) and to take advice from those you trust (like parents) but ultimately the decision is going to be up to you. Of course, the Bible doesn't exactly spell out which college to attend. God has promised wisdom to those who ask for it.

In my devotional reading this morning, I read this from "A Woman's Call to Prayer" by Elizabeth George:

When you pray (and wait patiently on the Lord for His answer and direction!), you will eventually sense His clear direction. There will be a clean and clear conscience. Doubts will be removed, and your confidence in God's guidance will blossom in your heart. (pg 134.)

So whatever decision you are struggling to make, don't be afraid to ask for clear green or clear red. God is ready and willing to guide you in each choice of life. Just ask!

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Picture courtesy of:
FreeFoto.com